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The stirrings of our inner spiritual sensibilities are the result of the sounds released by the violin of our souls, as it listens to the echo of the sound emanating from the Divine realm.
- Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook
From the stress of everyday living to extreme existential angst, most of us will at some time or another become overwhelmed and fearful. In fact, one out of every two people will experience mild to moderate anxiety for 1-2 weeks during their lifetime.1 Another group of individuals experience these feelings in an even more intensified manner and for an extended period of time. Those with an anxiety disorder may deal with a racing heart, chest pains, dizzy spells and disorientation on a daily, if not hourly, basis. I know because I've lived with this syndrome on and off for the last seven years.
As an astrologer, I've always been curious about how this ailment fits in with the birth chart and its subsequent unfolding. Are there planetary triggers to the onset of an anxiety disorder and how much of a part does natal configuration and genetic predispositioning play with regard to this ailment? And, finally, should the symptoms be medicated away or psychologically worked on through therapy and introspection?
According to a recent book by medical intuitive Caroline Myss, disease is an indicator that our body is trying to talk to us. An illness holds an important message and it is up to us to realize where we are living unauthentically so that we may become healed. If this is accurate, then the birth chart should logically be our road map to identifying illness and it should then lead us to the information we need to grow and be well.2
One of my favorite books on anxiety is by psychotherapist Robert Gerzon. Gerzon explains, "There are times in all of our lives when things seem to be spinning out of control. Often our instinctive response is to clutch even more tightly in desperation. Yet, these episodes actually may be moments when the universe is asking us to let go so that something better can come into our lives...the angel of sacred anxiety invites us to release our tight and controlling grip...the holding on for dear life that prevents the angel from carrying us where we may truly need to go."3
10% of the people who go to emergency rooms because they think they are having a heart attack are really having a panic attack. They are certain that they are dying. Gerzon says that this is because they are dying. Not a physical death, but a psychological one. "Their death throes signal the death of their everyday self and their customary reality for their self-image as a rational, competent, in-control person has fallen to pieces."4 Control, death, letting go...could Gerzon be unknowingly referring to our astrological nemesis Pluto? Add to that the fear relating to Saturn, and you have a combination that could make one feel as if they are spinning towards the great abyss.
Upon examining my own natal chart (fig. 1), one can immediately see that the ground was laid for a very fearful entity at the taking of the first breath. With Capricorn rising and Saturn in the first house, a cautious, responsible, ambitious individual is indicated. But, combine that with the fact that Saturn rules Venus, the ascendant, Mercury and, esoterically, itself and the Sun, and fear becomes even more pronounced. Add to that Saturn conjunct the Sun as well as square to Neptune, opposing Mars and quincunx Pluto, and you get an individual who is (as my wise mentor Barbara Junceau has told me) literally scared to death.
Fears can manifest themselves in minute daily activities, but they can also make themselves known in an existential realm. In the case of this chart, both are indicated. With all the Saturnian ruled planets in the first and second houses, fear may enter into each and every earthly decision. And, with Saturn and the Sun square to Neptune, fears about the great beyond, fears about giving form to that which is formless, and even fears that our very existence is a big cosmic joke.
But, the fact of the matter is that none of these fears manifested to a disorder type scale until almost the third decade of life. At the time the first panic attack hit, Uranus was crossing the ascendant. The planet of electricity, nervous energy and abrupt change was certainly making itself felt. But, was this Uranus transit enough to trigger severe anxiety and a feeling of hopeless dispair? Also at this time, the Saturn return was ensuing, but the clinching factor was undoubtedly Pluto Square the Sun. Donna Cunningham calls Pluto's transit of the Sun an opportunity for self purification and she says that the negative traits of its transit must first be exaggerated to a painful degree before they are healed. Ultimately, she says, the true self is revealed.5 In any case, the ego can undergo extreme testing as Pluto tears down and restructures the personality. Everything that once seemed real and controllable begins to spin endlessly. And, of course, this is what happened. I had my first child, quit work and settled into an isolated existence that began to destroy me. Noted astrologer Steven Arroyo talks about transits from Uranus, Neptune and Pluto having the effect of a rug being pulled out from under you. "It is a very insecure feeling, and it is often accompanied by simultaneous physical and/or psychological symptoms of disintegration. It often seems to me that the actual experience of these transits is not nearly so stress producing as the resulting panic, fear and anxiety which quickly ensues in most people."6
Pluto was also changing houses when severe anxiety forced its way into my life. According to astrologer Jeffrey Green, Pluto's transit through the 11th house indicates a need to sever all attachments that bind from further growth, dispassionately analyzing what needs to be changed or eliminated, feeling threatened and insecure about the future, and physical problems in the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous system as varying levels of stress.7 So, in effect, the entrance of an anxiety disorder was triggered by a mix of Saturn, Uranus and Pluto factors...the Saturn return, Uranus on the Ascendant, Pluto's entrance into the Uranus ruled house, and Pluto squaring the Sun. Finding myself barely able to function, I sought understanding. I subsequently had a session with Florida Astrologer Brenda Brush and my life was changed. I began a rigorous study of astrology which led me to question all of my values and sent me on a spiritual journey that has certainly transformed my beliefs about life and death.
As the transits passed and Pluto settled in for a ten year stay in the house of groups and organizations, my anxieties subsided somewhat. Just and I was about to start my ninth counseling psychology class, the panic attacks began again and settled into a generalized anxiety for the bulk of '98. What were Saturn, Uranus, and Pluto doing? Saturn was within orb of the 4th house cusp and was challenging me to clean up my inner world in preparation for the next 14 years. Uranus was opposing my Mars in Leo which is natally retrograde, opposes Saturn and squares Neptune, forcing me to begin asserting myself. Pluto, still in the eleventh, was sitting on the midpoint of my Sun and Moon...7 degrees of Sagittarius and the indicator of my never ending search for truth. In retrospect, it appears that Pluto was asking me to evaluate whether my current organizational involvement was really my true path, but I must not have been listening. Physical symptoms must have been the only way to get my attention, and with heavy Saturn and Uranus transits also occurring, anxiety was the ailment. While Saturn confused my home and work responsibilities and Uranus wreaked havoc with my ability to assert myself, Pluto once again was challenging my ego. But, this time, the Moon was involved. I spent most of '98 learning to separate from my mother and my mother's values. In addition, with my Moon in Virgo in the 9th house, I had to come to terms with whether I really needed the formality of a degree to get the information I needed about counseling and psychology. All this, again, was a journey about breaking down ones past belief systems in order to grow and build anew.
It is hard to tell what these intense outer planet transits and my illness will mean in the long run. Steven Arroyo says that the changes that happen during these periods "are so intense and concentrated, while at the same time their full implications on the total life are so subtle, that it is simply impossible for most individuals to assimilate within a short period of time the complete meaning of this transition from one phase of life to another. It may often take as long as ten years for a person to fully grasp what indeed was happening on the deeper levels during these transformative phases."8 No matter what this process of change will mean for me, ultimately my illness and my extreme exploration of self will make me a better astrologer and counselor. While empathy and understanding are important traits to possess in attempting to assist in healing another, the transformation in ones self can also be instrumental in accompanying others along the path of change.
In the traditional medical world, treating anxiety disorders with a combination of tranquilizers and anti-depressants is very common. The school of thought is that by eliminating the symptoms, the patient will return to normal. But, what if these symptoms are triggered by the life changing outer planet transits that require ones introspection? Spiritual essayist and lecturer Gregg Levoy says "Unfortunately, by following the great modern commandment of sickness - Get well! - we usually end up trying to eradicate our symptoms before finding out what dreams might be trying to come true...If we medicate our symptoms away or get them "fixed" by a doctor, hoping to return to our lives and pick up where we left off without missing a beat, then we've missed the point of pain."9 I'm certainly not advocating great suffering, but I think that is important to encourage our clients who are undergoing these kinds of transformations to look within. We need to help them understand that, before they run to mask the pain, they should utilize astrological symbols to detach from their ailments and recognize what areas of their lives need to be transformed. For as Robert Gerzon says, "If what we dread most about death is the possibility of losing our self, then death - the dissolution of the personality - can occur at any moment. As mystics and spiritual teachers have told us for centuries, this experience of non-self also can be one of the most direct routes to enlightenment and serenity. We must lose our life to find it"10
References and Notes 1 Harold Bloomfield, Healing Anxiety with Herbs, New York, NY: Harper Collins, 1998, p. jacket. 2 Caroline Myss, Why People Don't Heal and How They Can, New York, NY: Harmony Books, 1997, pp. ix-x. 3 Robert Gerzon, Finding Serenity in the Age of Anxiety, New York, NY: MacMillan, 1997, p. 234. 4 Gerzon, Finding Serenity, p. 248. 5 Donna Cunningham, Healing Pluto Problems, York Beach, ME: Samuel Weiser, Inc., 1986, p. 172. 6 Steven Arroyo, Astrology, Karma and Transformation: The Inner Dimensions of the Birth Chart, Sebastopol, CA: CRCS Publications, 1978/92, pp. 55-56. 7 Jeffrey Green, Pluto, The Evolutionary Journey of the Soul, Vol. I, St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn Publications, 1985, pp. 343-345. 8 Arroyo, Astrology, Karma and Transformation, p. 55. 9 Gregg Levoy, Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life, New York, NY: Harmony Books, 1997, p. 87. 10 Gerzon, Finding Serenity, p. 251.
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We are not broken,
we are just unfinished.
- Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.
From the stress of everyday living to extreme existential angst, most of us will at some time or another become overwhelmed and fearful. In fact, one out of every two people will experience mild to moderate anxiety for 1-2 weeks during their lifetime.1 Another group of individuals experience these feelings in an even more intensified manner and for an extended period of time. Those with an anxiety disorder may deal with a racing heart, chest pains, dizzy spells and disorientation on a daily, if not hourly, basis. I know because I've lived with this syndrome on and off for the last seven years.
As an astrologer, I've always been curious about how this ailment fits in with the birth chart and its subsequent unfolding. Are there planetary triggers to the onset of an anxiety disorder and how much of a part does natal configuration and genetic predispositioning play with regard to this ailment? And, finally, should the symptoms be medicated away or psychologically worked on through therapy and introspection?
According to a recent book by medical intuitive Caroline Myss, disease is an indicator that our body is trying to talk to us. An illness holds an important message and it is up to us to realize where we are living unauthentically so that we may become healed. If this is accurate, then the birth chart should logically be our road map to identifying illness and it should then lead us to the information we need to grow and be well.2
One of my favorite books on anxiety is by psychotherapist Robert Gerzon. Gerzon explains, "There are times in all of our lives when things seem to be spinning out of control. Often our instinctive response is to clutch even more tightly in desperation. Yet, these episodes actually may be moments when the universe is asking us to let go so that something better can come into our lives...the angel of sacred anxiety invites us to release our tight and controlling grip...the holding on for dear life that prevents the angel from carrying us where we may truly need to go."3
10% of the people who go to emergency rooms because they think they are having a heart attack are really having a panic attack. They are certain that they are dying. Gerzon says that this is because they are dying. Not a physical death, but a psychological one. "Their death throes signal the death of their everyday self and their customary reality for their self-image as a rational, competent, in-control person has fallen to pieces."4 Control, death, letting go...could Gerzon be unknowingly referring to our astrological nemesis Pluto? Add to that the fear relating to Saturn, and you have a combination that could make one feel as if they are spinning towards the great abyss.
Upon examining my own natal chart (fig. 1), one can immediately see that the ground was laid for a very fearful entity at the taking of the first breath. With Capricorn rising and Saturn in the first house, a cautious, responsible, ambitious individual is indicated. But, combine that with the fact that Saturn rules Venus, the ascendant, Mercury and, esoterically, itself and the Sun, and fear becomes even more pronounced. Add to that Saturn conjunct the Sun as well as square to Neptune, opposing Mars and quincunx Pluto, and you get an individual who is (as my wise mentor Barbara Junceau has told me) literally scared to death.
Fears can manifest themselves in minute daily activities, but they can also make themselves known in an existential realm. In the case of this chart, both are indicated. With all the Saturnian ruled planets in the first and second houses, fear may enter into each and every earthly decision. And, with Saturn and the Sun square to Neptune, fears about the great beyond, fears about giving form to that which is formless, and even fears that our very existence is a big cosmic joke.
But, the fact of the matter is that none of these fears manifested to a disorder type scale until almost the third decade of life. At the time the first panic attack hit, Uranus was crossing the ascendant. The planet of electricity, nervous energy and abrupt change was certainly making itself felt. But, was this Uranus transit enough to trigger severe anxiety and a feeling of hopeless dispair? Also at this time, the Saturn return was ensuing, but the clinching factor was undoubtedly Pluto Square the Sun. Donna Cunningham calls Pluto's transit of the Sun an opportunity for self purification and she says that the negative traits of its transit must first be exaggerated to a painful degree before they are healed. Ultimately, she says, the true self is revealed.5 In any case, the ego can undergo extreme testing as Pluto tears down and restructures the personality. Everything that once seemed real and controllable begins to spin endlessly. And, of course, this is what happened. I had my first child, quit work and settled into an isolated existence that began to destroy me. Noted astrologer Steven Arroyo talks about transits from Uranus, Neptune and Pluto having the effect of a rug being pulled out from under you. "It is a very insecure feeling, and it is often accompanied by simultaneous physical and/or psychological symptoms of disintegration. It often seems to me that the actual experience of these transits is not nearly so stress producing as the resulting panic, fear and anxiety which quickly ensues in most people."6
Pluto was also changing houses when severe anxiety forced its way into my life. According to astrologer Jeffrey Green, Pluto's transit through the 11th house indicates a need to sever all attachments that bind from further growth, dispassionately analyzing what needs to be changed or eliminated, feeling threatened and insecure about the future, and physical problems in the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous system as varying levels of stress.7 So, in effect, the entrance of an anxiety disorder was triggered by a mix of Saturn, Uranus and Pluto factors...the Saturn return, Uranus on the Ascendant, Pluto's entrance into the Uranus ruled house, and Pluto squaring the Sun. Finding myself barely able to function, I sought understanding. I subsequently had a session with Florida Astrologer Brenda Brush and my life was changed. I began a rigorous study of astrology which led me to question all of my values and sent me on a spiritual journey that has certainly transformed my beliefs about life and death.
As the transits passed and Pluto settled in for a ten year stay in the house of groups and organizations, my anxieties subsided somewhat. Just and I was about to start my ninth counseling psychology class, the panic attacks began again and settled into a generalized anxiety for the bulk of '98. What were Saturn, Uranus, and Pluto doing? Saturn was within orb of the 4th house cusp and was challenging me to clean up my inner world in preparation for the next 14 years. Uranus was opposing my Mars in Leo which is natally retrograde, opposes Saturn and squares Neptune, forcing me to begin asserting myself. Pluto, still in the eleventh, was sitting on the midpoint of my Sun and Moon...7 degrees of Sagittarius and the indicator of my never ending search for truth. In retrospect, it appears that Pluto was asking me to evaluate whether my current organizational involvement was really my true path, but I must not have been listening. Physical symptoms must have been the only way to get my attention, and with heavy Saturn and Uranus transits also occurring, anxiety was the ailment. While Saturn confused my home and work responsibilities and Uranus wreaked havoc with my ability to assert myself, Pluto once again was challenging my ego. But, this time, the Moon was involved. I spent most of '98 learning to separate from my mother and my mother's values. In addition, with my Moon in Virgo in the 9th house, I had to come to terms with whether I really needed the formality of a degree to get the information I needed about counseling and psychology. All this, again, was a journey about breaking down ones past belief systems in order to grow and build anew.
It is hard to tell what these intense outer planet transits and my illness will mean in the long run. Steven Arroyo says that the changes that happen during these periods "are so intense and concentrated, while at the same time their full implications on the total life are so subtle, that it is simply impossible for most individuals to assimilate within a short period of time the complete meaning of this transition from one phase of life to another. It may often take as long as ten years for a person to fully grasp what indeed was happening on the deeper levels during these transformative phases."8 No matter what this process of change will mean for me, ultimately my illness and my extreme exploration of self will make me a better astrologer and counselor. While empathy and understanding are important traits to possess in attempting to assist in healing another, the transformation in ones self can also be instrumental in accompanying others along the path of change.
In the traditional medical world, treating anxiety disorders with a combination of tranquilizers and anti-depressants is very common. The school of thought is that by eliminating the symptoms, the patient will return to normal. But, what if these symptoms are triggered by the life changing outer planet transits that require ones introspection? Spiritual essayist and lecturer Gregg Levoy says "Unfortunately, by following the great modern commandment of sickness - Get well! - we usually end up trying to eradicate our symptoms before finding out what dreams might be trying to come true...If we medicate our symptoms away or get them "fixed" by a doctor, hoping to return to our lives and pick up where we left off without missing a beat, then we've missed the point of pain."9 I'm certainly not advocating great suffering, but I think that is important to encourage our clients who are undergoing these kinds of transformations to look within. We need to help them understand that, before they run to mask the pain, they should utilize astrological symbols to detach from their ailments and recognize what areas of their lives need to be transformed. For as Robert Gerzon says, "If what we dread most about death is the possibility of losing our self, then death - the dissolution of the personality - can occur at any moment. As mystics and spiritual teachers have told us for centuries, this experience of non-self also can be one of the most direct routes to enlightenment and serenity. We must lose our life to find it"10
References and Notes 1 Harold Bloomfield, Healing Anxiety with Herbs, New York, NY: Harper Collins, 1998, p. jacket. 2 Caroline Myss, Why People Don't Heal and How They Can, New York, NY: Harmony Books, 1997, pp. ix-x. 3 Robert Gerzon, Finding Serenity in the Age of Anxiety, New York, NY: MacMillan, 1997, p. 234. 4 Gerzon, Finding Serenity, p. 248. 5 Donna Cunningham, Healing Pluto Problems, York Beach, ME: Samuel Weiser, Inc., 1986, p. 172. 6 Steven Arroyo, Astrology, Karma and Transformation: The Inner Dimensions of the Birth Chart, Sebastopol, CA: CRCS Publications, 1978/92, pp. 55-56. 7 Jeffrey Green, Pluto, The Evolutionary Journey of the Soul, Vol. I, St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn Publications, 1985, pp. 343-345. 8 Arroyo, Astrology, Karma and Transformation, p. 55. 9 Gregg Levoy, Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life, New York, NY: Harmony Books, 1997, p. 87. 10 Gerzon, Finding Serenity, p. 251.bio/soulPrint.bak 000644 007061 007061 00000010135 07544747464 015110 0 ustar 00tekiah tekiah 000000 000000
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The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
- Albert Einstein
Rabbi Mordechai Gafni says that we each have a soul print. Like our fingerprint, it is a unique part of us, the part that gives us our individuality. Our soul print, unlike our personality follows us around from lifetime to lifetime, learning and growing closer to the divine light. But, in our forgetting at birth, our soul print becomes hidden and our childhood is usually spent taking on imprints that are not our own. Our charge as spiritual beings in a material world is to realize that this is taking place. We must spend much time deciphering our soul print and figuring out how we can leave our indelible mark on earth. Each person that we encounter and each event in which we participate, assists us in unveiling our deepest truth.
Jewish mystical traditions give us the tools to pursue this challenging path. Through the study of Torah, we can learn from those who have come before us. Through connecting to the Tree of Life or the Sefirot, we can be guided through different stages of development. Through the concept of the four worlds, we can begin to understand the different aspects of our personalities. And, through Jewish meditation, we can train our selves to listen to the still small voice of guidance that is always available to us.
The process of uncovering and living our soul print isn’t always easy. After living as someone we are not for a lengthy period of time, the transition to authenticity can bring much anxiety. But, persevere we must, because our ultimate happiness depends upon it. For living your mother’s dream, your teacher’s dream, or the dreams of your neighbors will never give you lasting satisfaction. Only uncovering your unique gifts and talents and offering them to the world will bring shalom.
What makes this a Jewish call, this decree to unmask one’s soul? The b’nai Yissakhar of Avi Elimelekh Dynover, a Hasidic Rebbe of the first half of the 19th century put it well when he asked “What does it mean to be a Jew? His answer is twofold: we must (strive) to heal the soul and we must engage in tikkun olam. To do our best in repairing the world we must give our best. And, our best can only be given away if we actually have it to give. So the finding and healing of our soul print is really our first assignment, and only after that answer has been found can we move on to the world at large.
Jewish dogma is clear that the worshipping of idols is not acceptable. The divine source of creation is one. Rabbi Gafni likens our lack of pursuit of our soul print to idol worship. For, if we are holding on to our personality and the traits that belong to others we are essentially worshipping our masks.
On a recent weekend afternoon my family and I went to see the movie Spiderman. What struck me most about the movie was not the main storyline or the special effects, but the relationship between Peter Parker, Spiderman and Mary Jane. In one of the final scenes of the movie, Peter is with Mary Jane as she bares her soul to him. She admits to him that she loves him. But, instead of being truthful, Peter lies and tells her he cannot reciprocate. Even without his costume he is still wearing a mask. He believes that baring his soul would cause Mary Jane pain, so he chooses to continue living a lie.
Like Spiderman, we, too, weave a tangled web when we live a life that is not soul focused. We become trapped like flies in the threads of our lives. What is most important is to learn that the webs are part of our path and our learning and that instead of fighting truth, we must become still. Through study and quiet reflection, we can become like the wise spider Charlotte. We can gain the courage to release ourselves from long held patterns and let our soul print emerge knowing all the while that divinely inspired changes in us can, ultimately, only bring light to those who have chosen to accompany us on our journey.
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The purpose of life is the evolution of consciousness. This is as true at the individual level of the soul as it is on the universal, cosmic plane. It means that our lives are a constant process of self-realization, emotional and psychological growth and spiritual development. Through experience of life we mature as souls.
- Rabbi Steve Fisdel
There is a silent voice that speaks to me when the water runs in my bathroom. While in my shower, the clear liquid cascades over my body and the insights flow like a river. Answers to long held questions sound in my ears while the ritual of daily cleansing progresses. Sometimes, as I stare in the mirror over my sink, the silent voice returns. The water is streaming from the faucet, but my face washing is put on hold as I listen.
It’s funny because the language of my bathroom muse is not verbal. It does not feel like the voice described by a diagnosed schizophrenic. Somehow, I think I may be hearing the voice of my soul. The information I intuit, as the sound of water against porcelain drowns out the rest of the world, is deep and all knowing. It defies logic and practicality and cuts quickly and succinctly to the obvious right action.
There are times that I will forget the power that lurks within my bathroom and I will struggle endlessly. Then, I will find myself in that special place, for purely mundane reasons. Almost instantly, the words are whispered in my ear and I, once again, remind myself where this is all taking place.
My bathroom companion has become so sacred that I feel I must take it seriously. If the intuition comes in the bathroom, whether the water is bursting forth from the shower head with gusto, or trickling from the sink in heart shaped droplets, it must be swiftly recorded for future action.
Sometimes the answers my bathroom muse brings are simple the perfect gift for my mate, an article idea, the push to call an old friend. Yet, other times, insights into the most profound workings of my life and the universe are received. The greatest challenge is keeping the information from going down the drain with the water that facilitated its reception.
I recently got a lovely fountain which I placed in my sunroom. My hopes were that I could re-create the magic of my bathroom in a more scenic locale. And, while I have taken to writing with the sounds of my rock and brass water machine bubbling in the background, it doesn’t seem to inspire the same insights as the tiny, nondescript room tucked away on the 2nd floor of my house.
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Creativity constitutes
the most divine
phase of reality.
- Rabbi Mordechai Kaplan
There is a silent voice that speaks to me when the water runs in my bathroom. While in my shower, the clear liquid cascades over my body and the insights flow like a river. Answers to long held questions sound in my ears while the ritual of daily cleansing progresses. Sometimes, as I stare in the mirror over my sink, the silent voice returns. The water is streaming from the faucet, but my face washing is put on hold as I listen.
It’s funny because the language of my bathroom muse is not verbal. It does not feel like the voice described by a diagnosed schizophrenic. Somehow, I think I may be hearing the voice of my soul. The information I intuit, as the sound of water against porcelain drowns out the rest of the world, is deep and all knowing. It defies logic and practicality and cuts quickly and succinctly to the obvious right action.
There are times that I will forget the power that lurks within my bathroom and I will struggle endlessly. Then, I will find myself in that special place, for purely mundane reasons. Almost instantly, the words are whispered in my ear and I, once again, remind myself where this is all taking place.
My bathroom companion has become so sacred that I feel I must take it seriously. If the intuition comes in the bathroom, whether the water is bursting forth from the shower head with gusto, or trickling from the sink in heart shaped droplets, it must be swiftly recorded for future action.
Sometimes the answers my bathroom muse brings are simple the perfect gift for my mate, an article idea, the push to call an old friend. Yet, other times, insights into the most profound workings of my life and the universe are received. The greatest challenge is keeping the information from going down the drain with the water that facilitated its reception.
I recently got a lovely fountain which I placed in my sunroom. My hopes were that I could re-create the magic of my bathroom in a more scenic locale. And, while I have taken to writing with the sounds of my rock and brass water machine bubbling in the background, it doesn’t seem to inspire the same insights as the tiny, nondescript room tucked away on the 2nd floor of my house.
Home | Classes | Schedule | Exercises | Resources | Books | About Dina April
|
For more info, contact dina@tekiah.com |
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The stirrings of our inner spiritual sensibilities are the result of the sounds released by the violin of our souls, as it listens to the echo of the sound emanating from the Divine realm.
- Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook
Contemplating one's belief in God can literally open up a can of worms. Committing to the existence or non-existence of a higher power forces you to take a stand about many other facets of being alive. In fact, contemplating God creates a snowball effect with regard to one's beliefs about our entire reason for being.
I've come to feel God as an energy system that is located on a different plane of existence. We are all a part of that existence, but in that other realm, we are unable to experience anything but pure love. On the earth plane, God challenges us to choose love despite our exposure to numerous other feelings and experiences. God's interference with our everyday activities would only hinder this plan. In fact, if we all began to act more "Godly" here on earth, we may someday bring a more heavenly existence to the denser plane.
It has always bothered me that, in my opinion, my views about God were in conflict with my being a Jew. In fact, after formulating my vision a number of years ago, my whole life philosophy has become decidedly more Eastern. I have come to believe that we are spirits that inhabit human bodies to learn lessons that will eventually bring us back to God. I feel that our lives are ongoing and it is only the circumstances and the vehicles that alter. We come into each life with gifts and talents from previous existences, as well as baggage or karma. We must assimilate these qualities with our genetic body as well as with our environment. Because we have lived many times, we have the memories of these incarnations in our psyche. However, if we were conscious each lifetime of previous existences, our learning would be thwarted. Each time we come to earth, we re-learn from a different perspective, a new body, a new culture, a new personality and our lessons require that we re-learn in a different way. It is also my belief that human beings form relationships in order to learn more about themselves and to learn to see the world from a different vantage point. I feel that we are born with a unique energy pattern and that "power" is what allows us to gravitate to others and them to us. All of us are free to choose how we will think, feel and/or act in any given situation. And, the bottom line of each of these choices is that they are either based on fear or love. Choosing out of fear creates anxiety and thwarts growth. Choosing out of love elevates and uplifts us, both consciously and unconsciously. When we act in ways that honor ourselves, as well as others, our soul is raised along with the consciousness of all humanity.
Since my views take on a Buddhist flavor, I never considered that this kind of philosophy could be espoused by a learned Jew. But then, I encountered an article in a Reconstructionist text (Windows on the Jewish Soul) that mitigated my fears. I learned of a 13th century astronomer, mathematician, and Jewish philosopher whose theories came as close to mine as any others I have read. Levi Ben Gerson, according to author Jeffrey Schein, had very clear ideas about God and why bad things are allowed to happen to good people. Levi Ben Gerson felt that God does not come down from the heavens to help us. It is our job to learn to climb up to him. By elevating our character and by seeing our world as God sees it, we are better able to do justice to one and other. Levi Ben Gerson asserted that we cannot imagine that God concerns himself with the details of each of our everyday existences. For if we were helped every time we cried, asked or faltered, we could never grow. God put within us the power to do good and understand the world. Interference would be a violation of his plan. And finally, a quote attributed to Levi Ben Gerson that I found on the internet espoused, "A peace that comes from fear and not from the heart is the opposite of peace."
Encountering a Jewish philosopher with views akin to mine has renewed my interest in Jewish knowledge and ideas. The fact that Ben Gerson invented the instrument that allows astronomers and astrologers (like me) to be able to measure the angular relationship between celestial bodies is just one in a strange line of synchronicities that has led my meandering spiritual quest back to Judaism.
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We call Judaism's coming era...
Neshamah Judaism, Soul Judaism.
- Rabbi Wayne Dosick
Contemplating one's belief in God can literally open up a can of worms. Committing to the existence or non-existence of a higher power forces you to take a stand about many other facets of being alive. In fact, contemplating God creates a snowball effect with regard to one's beliefs about our entire reason for being.
I've come to feel God as an energy system that is located on a different plane of existence. We are all a part of that existence, but in that other realm, we are unable to experience anything but pure love. On the earth plane, God challenges us to choose love despite our exposure to numerous other feelings and experiences. God's interference with our everyday activities would only hinder this plan. In fact, if we all began to act more "Godly" here on earth, we may someday bring a more heavenly existence to the denser plane.
It has always bothered me that, in my opinion, my views about God were in conflict with my being a Jew. In fact, after formulating my vision a number of years ago, my whole life philosophy has become decidedly more Eastern. I have come to believe that we are spirits that inhabit human bodies to learn lessons that will eventually bring us back to God. I feel that our lives are ongoing and it is only the circumstances and the vehicles that alter. We come into each life with gifts and talents from previous existences, as well as baggage or karma. We must assimilate these qualities with our genetic body as well as with our environment. Because we have lived many times, we have the memories of these incarnations in our psyche. However, if we were conscious each lifetime of previous existences, our learning would be thwarted. Each time we come to earth, we re-learn from a different perspective, a new body, a new culture, a new personality and our lessons require that we re-learn in a different way. It is also my belief that human beings form relationships in order to learn more about themselves and to learn to see the world from a different vantage point. I feel that we are born with a unique energy pattern and that "power" is what allows us to gravitate to others and them to us. All of us are free to choose how we will think, feel and/or act in any given situation. And, the bottom line of each of these choices is that they are either based on fear or love. Choosing out of fear creates anxiety and thwarts growth. Choosing out of love elevates and uplifts us, both consciously and unconsciously. When we act in ways that honor ourselves, as well as others, our soul is raised along with the consciousness of all humanity.
Since my views take on a Buddhist flavor, I never considered that this kind of philosophy could be espoused by a learned Jew. But then, I encountered an article in a Reconstructionist text (Windows on the Jewish Soul) that mitigated my fears. I learned of a 13th century astronomer, mathematician, and Jewish philosopher whose theories came as close to mine as any others I have read. Levi Ben Gerson, according to author Jeffrey Schein, had very clear ideas about God and why bad things are allowed to happen to good people. Levi Ben Gerson felt that God does not come down from the heavens to help us. It is our job to learn to climb up to him. By elevating our character and by seeing our world as God sees it, we are better able to do justice to one and other. Levi Ben Gerson asserted that we cannot imagine that God concerns himself with the details of each of our everyday existences. For if we were helped every time we cried, asked or faltered, we could never grow. God put within us the power to do good and understand the world. Interference would be a violation of his plan. And finally, a quote attributed to Levi Ben Gerson that I found on the internet espoused, "A peace that comes from fear and not from the heart is the opposite of peace."
Encountering a Jewish philosopher with views akin to mine has renewed my interest in Jewish knowledge and ideas. The fact that Ben Gerson invented the instrument that allows astronomers and astrologers (like me) to be able to measure the angular relationship between celestial bodies is just one in a strange line of synchronicities that has led my meandering spiritual quest back to Judaism.
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Creativity constitutes
the most divine
phase of reality.
- Rabbi Mordechai Kaplan
While the Jewish calendar year starts with the High Holy days, the preparation for these days actually starts with the prior month...the month of Elul. During this month, we prepare for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. So, during this time of year, we can focus on Remembering to prepare ourselves for the tasks of transforming and forgiving. How can we do this? We can take time to focus on de-stressing our bodies so that we will be better able to focus on our emotions and minds. We can look back over the last year and begin to prepare a list of accomplishments and shortcomings. In short, we call ourselves to consciousness by remembering to prepare our soul to be revealed.
The new year charges us to Remember that we can start anew, that our commitment to spirit and consciousness is a difficult one and that each year we can transform ourselves just a little bit more. So on Rosh Hashanah, we concentrate on coming up with ways that we can be more aware in the coming year.
Why is it that the celebration of the new year comes before the serious repentance of Yom Kippur? Wouldn’t it be better to do the tough stuff first and then celebrate? Symbolically, I think this “backwards” focus shows us Judaism commitment to “life.” What is first and foremost is that we remember our living and that we always have the opportunity to do better next year. After we’ve made this commitment, then we look back to see specifically where we most need work. So, on Yom Kippur, what we truly need to do is Remember who we really are. Because, the deeds that we’ve done that require forgiveness are the ones where we were most likely wearing a mask…where we weren’t acting in the highest accord with our soul. So during this holy day, we examine our mask and focus on further ways to remove it.
Sukkot is a festival of harvest. We reap the benefits of the hard work done in the fields during the Spring and Summer. As we spend time outside in the crisp fall days, as we build, dine, and possibly even sleep in our sukkah, we can focus on remembering our connectedness to the Earth. Sukkot can be a time where we become more conscious of how interconnected we are with our planet and how its cycles have become our cycles. And, in this rememberance, we can also examine our own personal over invovlement with material goods and how we can become more conscious of how our individual actions make a difference.
On this holy day, we realize that we have just finished reading our Torah scroll and that it is time to beginning reading our history from the beginning…all over again. So, on Simchat Torah, we can symbolically focus on the past….Remembering our connectedness to the past. This may mean examining your relationships with your family, considering the parts of you that were lost in childhood or looking back on the cycles and patterns of the last year.
Hanukah is a holiday that we are never sure whether we should be celebrating it our not. Are we copying the Christians? Is the story just a myth? The story portrays a battle and it creates a battle within us. So, I challenge us to use Hanukah in a completely different way. Let’s consider it a holiday where we Remember that sometimes we have to fight to express who we really are. Sometimes it isn’t popular, sometimes its painful, but in the end, when we remove our mask, we are ultimately happier and better able to bring happiness to others.
While this holiday represents the coming of Spring (at least in Israel), it may not have that kind of meaning for those who don’t expect Spring for a couple more months. So, symbolically, while you are eating the fruits and nuts of your T’beshvat sedar, you can challenge your self to Remember to grow and change and plant new seeds. Our plant friends seem to know that they can shed their old skin each year and come back larger and fuller than before. We need to remember that in order to grow spiritually, we have to commit to trying new things and embarking on new adventures. During this holiday, we can contemplate the things we’ve always wanted to try, but have been avoiding. And, we can commit to trying to add a small, new spice to our lives.
Passover can be a difficult holiday to contemplate for some of us. It conjures up images of a vengeful God, violence, and chosenness. But it also reminds us about fighting for freedom and the costs that are involved. And yet, in the end, I think that the real message of Passover is about being called…Heneini! At some time, we are all called to do something…to do our special part in the high adventure we call life. It may not be easy and we certainly we may not feel ready, but if we are conscious and listening we can feel the pull. Moses’s mother felt the pull to defy the pharoah and save her child, Pharoah’s daughter felt compelled to save a Hebrew, Moses knew he had to follow God’s instructions, and Aaron and Miriam felt called to be at his side. The story is full of people who didn’t have to challenge themselves, but heard a call and responded. So, at Passover, we remember to consider our calling and examine whether we are moving toward answering it.
Holocaust rememberance day can be a difficult time. How can a day that focuses on the memorializing of the six million killed be a call to consciousness for us? Yom Hashoah shows us that even amidst the greatest pain, there is joy in being free to know and respect who you are…and this must be remembered. Rabbi Kalonymus Kalman Shapira remembered as he wrote and delivered speeches in the Warsaw Ghetto, Ann Frank remembered when she wrote in her diary, and Elie Weisel remembered amids the pain he recalled for us in “Night.” The key is to teach yourself to know that even when physical and emotional pain are the greatest, if you are a person that is conscious and who is authentic, there is freedom during the worst of times.
We conclude with the holiday that commemorates the giving of the ten commandments. On this day, it seems appropriate to remember silence. This may be a time to allow yourself a retreat…whether for a hour, a day or a whole festival week. For it is during times of silence that one hears the highest calls. This is when the voice of your soul, spirit or God may speak loudest. So on Shavuot we remember to be quiet in order to hear the still small voice…whether it be in meditation, camping in the wilderness or soaking alone in a hot bath.
Within the larger cycle of our Jewish year is the smaller cycle of the Jewish week. And, for 24 hours at sundown on Friday, we are afforded a time to stop. Granted, our schedules normally don’t allow us this luxury, but we can create some way of honoring this day. Shabbat asks us to practice non action. We can empty ourselves in preparation to fill for another six days.
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The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
- Albert Einstein
While the Jewish calendar year starts with the High Holy days, the preparation for these days actually starts with the prior month...the month of Elul. During this month, we prepare for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. So, during this time of year, we can focus on Remembering to prepare ourselves for the tasks of transforming and forgiving. How can we do this? We can take time to focus on de-stressing our bodies so that we will be better able to focus on our emotions and minds. We can look back over the last year and begin to prepare a list of accomplishments and shortcomings. In short, we call ourselves to consciousness by remembering to prepare our soul to be revealed.
The new year charges us to Remember that we can start anew, that our commitment to spirit and consciousness is a difficult one and that each year we can transform ourselves just a little bit more. So on Rosh Hashanah, we concentrate on coming up with ways that we can be more aware in the coming year.
Why is it that the celebration of the new year comes before the serious repentance of Yom Kippur? Wouldn’t it be better to do the tough stuff first and then celebrate? Symbolically, I think this “backwards” focus shows us Judaism commitment to “life.” What is first and foremost is that we remember our living and that we always have the opportunity to do better next year. After we’ve made this commitment, then we look back to see specifically where we most need work. So, on Yom Kippur, what we truly need to do is Remember who we really are. Because, the deeds that we’ve done that require forgiveness are the ones where we were most likely wearing a mask…where we weren’t acting in the highest accord with our soul. So during this holy day, we examine our mask and focus on further ways to remove it.
Sukkot is a festival of harvest. We reap the benefits of the hard work done in the fields during the Spring and Summer. As we spend time outside in the crisp fall days, as we build, dine, and possibly even sleep in our sukkah, we can focus on remembering our connectedness to the Earth. Sukkot can be a time where we become more conscious of how interconnected we are with our planet and how its cycles have become our cycles. And, in this rememberance, we can also examine our own personal over invovlement with material goods and how we can become more conscious of how our individual actions make a difference.
On this holy day, we realize that we have just finished reading our Torah scroll and that it is time to beginning reading our history from the beginning…all over again. So, on Simchat Torah, we can symbolically focus on the past….Remembering our connectedness to the past. This may mean examining your relationships with your family, considering the parts of you that were lost in childhood or looking back on the cycles and patterns of the last year.
Hanukah is a holiday that we are never sure whether we should be celebrating it our not. Are we copying the Christians? Is the story just a myth? The story portrays a battle and it creates a battle within us. So, I challenge us to use Hanukah in a completely different way. Let’s consider it a holiday where we Remember that sometimes we have to fight to express who we really are. Sometimes it isn’t popular, sometimes its painful, but in the end, when we remove our mask, we are ultimately happier and better able to bring happiness to others.
While this holiday represents the coming of Spring (at least in Israel), it may not have that kind of meaning for those who don’t expect Spring for a couple more months. So, symbolically, while you are eating the fruits and nuts of your T’beshvat sedar, you can challenge your self to Remember to grow and change and plant new seeds. Our plant friends seem to know that they can shed their old skin each year and come back larger and fuller than before. We need to remember that in order to grow spiritually, we have to commit to trying new things and embarking on new adventures. During this holiday, we can contemplate the things we’ve always wanted to try, but have been avoiding. And, we can commit to trying to add a small, new spice to our lives.
Passover can be a difficult holiday to contemplate for some of us. It conjures up images of a vengeful God, violence, and chosenness. But it also reminds us about fighting for freedom and the costs that are involved. And yet, in the end, I think that the real message of Passover is about being called…Heneini! At some time, we are all called to do something…to do our special part in the high adventure we call life. It may not be easy and we certainly we may not feel ready, but if we are conscious and listening we can feel the pull. Moses’s mother felt the pull to defy the pharoah and save her child, Pharoah’s daughter felt compelled to save a Hebrew, Moses knew he had to follow God’s instructions, and Aaron and Miriam felt called to be at his side. The story is full of people who didn’t have to challenge themselves, but heard a call and responded. So, at Passover, we remember to consider our calling and examine whether we are moving toward answering it.
Holocaust rememberance day can be a difficult time. How can a day that focuses on the memorializing of the six million killed be a call to consciousness for us? Yom Hashoah shows us that even amidst the greatest pain, there is joy in being free to know and respect who you are…and this must be remembered. Rabbi Kalonymus Kalman Shapira remembered as he wrote and delivered speeches in the Warsaw Ghetto, Ann Frank remembered when she wrote in her diary, and Elie Weisel remembered amids the pain he recalled for us in “Night.” The key is to teach yourself to know that even when physical and emotional pain are the greatest, if you are a person that is conscious and who is authentic, there is freedom during the worst of times.
We conclude with the holiday that commemorates the giving of the ten commandments. On this day, it seems appropriate to remember silence. This may be a time to allow yourself a retreat…whether for a hour, a day or a whole festival week. For it is during times of silence that one hears the highest calls. This is when the voice of your soul, spirit or God may speak loudest. So on Shavuot we remember to be quiet in order to hear the still small voice…whether it be in meditation, camping in the wilderness or soaking alone in a hot bath.
Within the larger cycle of our Jewish year is the smaller cycle of the Jewish week. And, for 24 hours at sundown on Friday, we are afforded a time to stop. Granted, our schedules normally don’t allow us this luxury, but we can create some way of honoring this day. Shabbat asks us to practice non action. We can empty ourselves in preparation to fill for another six days.
Home | Classes | Schedule | Exercises | Resources | Books | About Dina April
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Where there is no vision, the people will perish.
- Proverbs
There's a beat up old house on a main street near where I live and I cringe every time I pass it. The sign in the front yard reads, "Astrologer/Psychic - Readings $5." I'm not sure what bothers me most : the coupling of astrologer with psychic; the paltry $5 charge; or the unprofessionalism of the whole scenario.
As a psychologically oriented astrologer, I shy away from crystal ball types of prediction. I explain my approach to client's before I make an appointment, and, frankly, many seem relieved that they won't leave my office contemplating the death of their mother next month or the loss of their job next year. But, what of psychic ability and creative intuition? Reading a chart is somewhat of an art, and to be a real help, an astrologer must make some kind of connection to a higher dimension of energy. Cookbook styles may bring some success, but it is only the practitioner who can access an almost ethereal synthesizing ability who can be of the most help.
I have the ability to sometimes "see" one of a client's significant past lives. I used to deny that I could do this and I refrained from informing my client's of what I "saw." But, one day, my client's began confirming my suspicions without me saying a word. The wife of one client, who I knew had been an imprisoned criminal, told me she had an irrational fear that her professional and successful husband might someday commit a crime. Another client, who I knew had saved herself from Nazi annihilation by becoming a prostitute, told me that she had been obsessed with the holocaust and Judaism as a child, had always dated Jewish men, and is now married to a Jew and raising her children in that faith . And, just recently, I was analyzing the chart of a women and it came to me that she had been a very violent and domineering man in the past and that she had overcome women sexually. The first thing she said to me when she sat down was that she had had her chart done once before in her native Lithuania and that the astrologer had told her that she had been a very powerful man who had committed a lot of sin. I've since realized that suppressing these intuitions is contrary to my work as an astrologer. These and other types of intuitive insights can be quite critical in analyzing an astrological chart, and can give client's clarity regarding their interests, choices and blocks in this lifetime. Even psychic visions of the future can be used sensitively by highlighting for client's critical cycles of transition (without actually predicting specific events).
By avoiding psychically born information, we really do a disservice. And, even if we choose to avoid it, most people don't differentiate astrologers from psychics anyway. Astrologers have sporadically been associated throughout history with prophecy, witches, and magic, while today we tend to be linked with the 1-900 lines, psychic fares, and $5 a session practitioners. I don't know how many times I've been asked to do a Tarot reading after I've told someone that I'm an astrologer.
In my opinion, the issue really shouldn't be whether we use psychic or intuitive abilities, but how we use them to accomplish the upgrading of our craft.First, we need to ensure that we are all educated as both counselors and astrologers. Second, we need to engage in tasteful advertising and public relations. Third, we need to choose locations for our practices that relay the same serious and confidential aura as our healing counterparts. And, fourth, we must expect compensation for our services that is equal to other trained and educated counselors. When we can present ourselves in this manner it will matter less what methods we use to assist our clients, in fact, our methods will slowly become part of the mainstream as is happening with message therapists, chiropractors, hypnotherapists, and the like.
From now on, every time I pass by the psychic/astrologer "office" near my home, I won't get angry, I'll get inspired. I'll be using her existence as a symbol to remind me that I've got to finish that graduate degree in counseling, I've got to keep saving for a real business office, I've got to lose the guilt I feel about raising my prices by $5 once a year, and, last but not least, I've got to quite suppressing those psychic messages.
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Where there is no vision, the people will perish.
- Proverbs
There's a beat up old house on a main street near where I live and I cringe every time I pass it. The sign in the front yard reads, "Astrologer/Psychic - Readings $5." I'm not sure what bothers me most : the coupling of astrologer with psychic; the paltry $5 charge; or the unprofessionalism of the whole scenario.
As a psychologically oriented astrologer, I shy away from crystal ball types of prediction. I explain my approach to client's before I make an appointment, and, frankly, many seem relieved that they won't leave my office contemplating the death of their mother next month or the loss of their job next year. But, what of psychic ability and creative intuition? Reading a chart is somewhat of an art, and to be a real help, an astrologer must make some kind of connection to a higher dimension of energy. Cookbook styles may bring some success, but it is only the practitioner who can access an almost ethereal synthesizing ability who can be of the most help.
I have the ability to sometimes "see" one of a client's significant past lives. I used to deny that I could do this and I refrained from informing my client's of what I "saw." But, one day, my client's began confirming my suspicions without me saying a word. The wife of one client, who I knew had been an imprisoned criminal, told me she had an irrational fear that her professional and successful husband might someday commit a crime. Another client, who I knew had saved herself from Nazi annihilation by becoming a prostitute, told me that she had been obsessed with the holocaust and Judaism as a child, had always dated Jewish men, and is now married to a Jew and raising her children in that faith . And, just recently, I was analyzing the chart of a women and it came to me that she had been a very violent and domineering man in the past and that she had overcome women sexually. The first thing she said to me when she sat down was that she had had her chart done once before in her native Lithuania and that the astrologer had told her that she had been a very powerful man who had committed a lot of sin. I've since realized that suppressing these intuitions is contrary to my work as an astrologer. These and other types of intuitive insights can be quite critical in analyzing an astrological chart, and can give client's clarity regarding their interests, choices and blocks in this lifetime. Even psychic visions of the future can be used sensitively by highlighting for client's critical cycles of transition (without actually predicting specific events).
By avoiding psychically born information, we really do a disservice. And, even if we choose to avoid it, most people don't differentiate astrologers from psychics anyway. Astrologers have sporadically been associated throughout history with prophecy, witches, and magic, while today we tend to be linked with the 1-900 lines, psychic fares, and $5 a session practitioners. I don't know how many times I've been asked to do a Tarot reading after I've told someone that I'm an astrologer.
In my opinion, the issue really shouldn't be whether we use psychic or intuitive abilities, but how we use them to accomplish the upgrading of our craft.First, we need to ensure that we are all educated as both counselors and astrologers. Second, we need to engage in tasteful advertising and public relations. Third, we need to choose locations for our practices that relay the same serious and confidential aura as our healing counterparts. And, fourth, we must expect compensation for our services that is equal to other trained and educated counselors. When we can present ourselves in this manner it will matter less what methods we use to assist our clients, in fact, our methods will slowly become part of the mainstream as is happening with message therapists, chiropractors, hypnotherapists, and the like.
From now on, every time I pass by the psychic/astrologer "office" near my home, I won't get angry, I'll get inspired. I'll be using her existence as a symbol to remind me that I've got to finish that graduate degree in counseling, I've got to keep saving for a real business office, I've got to lose the guilt I feel about raising my prices by $5 once a year, and, last but not least, I've got to quite suppressing those psychic messages.
Home | Classes | Schedule | Exercises | Resources | Books | About Dina April
|
For more info, contact dina@tekiah.com |
Home
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| Schedule
| Spiritual Guidance
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| About Dina April
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The purpose of life is the evolution of consciousness. This is as true at the individual level of the soul as it is on the universal, cosmic plane. It means that our lives are a constant process of self-realization, emotional and psychological growth and spiritual development. Through experience of life we mature as souls.
- Rabbi Steve Fisdel
When I think back on my childhood, one of my most precious memories was my visit to Disney World. I was thirteen, it was summertime, and I was at sleep away camp in Ocala, Florida. We were just an hour from Orlando and the highlight of the summer was a trip to the Magic Kingdom. But this was not any ordinary trip. You see, once our camp bus arrived on Disney grounds, we were let loose in the park unchaperoned for twelve hours. Oh what an adventure it was! From the trip on the monorail, to our first glimpse of Cinderella's Castle, to rationing the coveted "E" ticket for the most popular rides, the freedom and fantasy was unsurpassed. Part of the charm of Disney World, back then, was its simplicity. One parking lot, one park, and just a few hotels. With an entire day on our hands, we could explore every nook and cranny of every "land." We could browse through all of the stores and we could even repeat our favorite rides. Bleary eyed, we would watch the electric light parade with exhausted awe and then head back to our bus hoping no one would be missing and that we would make it back to our bunk before midnight.
Fast forward 25 years. Disney World is now Disney Universe. The remote tree lined street that once led to the Magic Kingdom is now a multi-lane highway with signs indicating attractions in every direction. Hotels are lined up one after the other a la the Las Vegas strip. A fleet of buses move in synchrony from one park to the next. Of course, the one park, one day system may still work in theory, but you'd need a week to take in all the sites. From the Magic Kingdom, To Epcot, to MGM, to Animal Kingdom, to Blizzard Beach, and much more, the magic is multiplied so many times that, frankly, the sparkle becomes faded very quickly. Gone are the days when leisurely exploration was possible, now the pace is fast, even frenetic, as one tries to take it all in and get one's money's worth. For now, as a family of four spending $3,000, the trip must be well worth the exorbitant cost. With hundreds of restaurants, countless rides and attractions, and multiple evening extravaganzas, the Walt Disney experience has become nothing short of overwhelming. I can safely say that even though my kids had a fun time, their memories have none of the wonder and sparkle that mine did from childhood. And, to dilute the experience even further, every Disney souvenir is now available at our local mall.
My disappointment in the commercialization of Disney is a repetitive symptom of our pre-millennium society. What ever happened to the idea that less is more? From our habit of over scheduling our kids, to the constant drone of the TV or computer, to vacations that leave us needing a vacation, we seem to have lost our ability to slow down and experience the moment. And, instead of staying true to its magic, Disney has chosen to take advantage of our lack of self limitation and offer us a visit to their world that leaves our head spinning. Meanwhile, we're brainwashed into thinking we must return again because we weren't able to cram everything into our five day stay.
When I think back on my children's short lives, the moments that are most imbedded in their memory are the simpler ones: family hikes, camping in the back yard with their aunt and uncle, driving around town looking at holiday lights, and even the occasional treat at the local Ben and Jerry's. Adventures and magical moments don't have to be elaborate and glamorous and fast paced to be meaningful. Our European counterparts seem to understand this better than we do. Some years ago, when the Disney magic of my childhood still pervaded my memory, I wholeheartedly invested in some shares of Euro Disney stock. I foolishly thought that everyone across the Atlantic would be eternally grateful to be able to experience American entertainment in their own backyard. Was I ever wrong. How could I have ever thought that a culture that covets long siestas, leisurely meals, and multiple weeks of yearly vacation, be interested in the garish, commercialized, extravaganza that Disney has become. My $2,000 investment has dwindled to a worth of $125. I toyed with selling the shares for a tax loss, but then I decided the stock held a more symbolic purpose. Now, when my quarterly statement arrives, it reminds me that the magic and peace that we all long for in this life are to be found in the simpler moments. While Europeans seem to be able to reject the temptation to succumb to fast paced distraction, as Americans, we must constantly challenge ourselves to slow down and witness the blessings in what may initially be seen as more mundane experiences
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The first man sinned...
for he did not know
his own soul.
- Rabbi Abrahm Isaac Kook
When I think back on my childhood, one of my most precious memories was my visit to Disney World. I was thirteen, it was summertime, and I was at sleep away camp in Ocala, Florida. We were just an hour from Orlando and the highlight of the summer was a trip to the Magic Kingdom. But this was not any ordinary trip. You see, once our camp bus arrived on Disney grounds, we were let loose in the park unchaperoned for twelve hours. Oh what an adventure it was! From the trip on the monorail, to our first glimpse of Cinderella's Castle, to rationing the coveted "E" ticket for the most popular rides, the freedom and fantasy was unsurpassed. Part of the charm of Disney World, back then, was its simplicity. One parking lot, one park, and just a few hotels. With an entire day on our hands, we could explore every nook and cranny of every "land." We could browse through all of the stores and we could even repeat our favorite rides. Bleary eyed, we would watch the electric light parade with exhausted awe and then head back to our bus hoping no one would be missing and that we would make it back to our bunk before midnight.
Fast forward 25 years. Disney World is now Disney Universe. The remote tree lined street that once led to the Magic Kingdom is now a multi-lane highway with signs indicating attractions in every direction. Hotels are lined up one after the other a la the Las Vegas strip. A fleet of buses move in synchrony from one park to the next. Of course, the one park, one day system may still work in theory, but you'd need a week to take in all the sites. From the Magic Kingdom, To Epcot, to MGM, to Animal Kingdom, to Blizzard Beach, and much more, the magic is multiplied so many times that, frankly, the sparkle becomes faded very quickly. Gone are the days when leisurely exploration was possible, now the pace is fast, even frenetic, as one tries to take it all in and get one's money's worth. For now, as a family of four spending $3,000, the trip must be well worth the exorbitant cost. With hundreds of restaurants, countless rides and attractions, and multiple evening extravaganzas, the Walt Disney experience has become nothing short of overwhelming. I can safely say that even though my kids had a fun time, their memories have none of the wonder and sparkle that mine did from childhood. And, to dilute the experience even further, every Disney souvenir is now available at our local mall.
My disappointment in the commercialization of Disney is a repetitive symptom of our pre-millennium society. What ever happened to the idea that less is more? From our habit of over scheduling our kids, to the constant drone of the TV or computer, to vacations that leave us needing a vacation, we seem to have lost our ability to slow down and experience the moment. And, instead of staying true to its magic, Disney has chosen to take advantage of our lack of self limitation and offer us a visit to their world that leaves our head spinning. Meanwhile, we're brainwashed into thinking we must return again because we weren't able to cram everything into our five day stay.
When I think back on my children's short lives, the moments that are most imbedded in their memory are the simpler ones: family hikes, camping in the back yard with their aunt and uncle, driving around town looking at holiday lights, and even the occasional treat at the local Ben and Jerry's. Adventures and magical moments don't have to be elaborate and glamorous and fast paced to be meaningful. Our European counterparts seem to understand this better than we do. Some years ago, when the Disney magic of my childhood still pervaded my memory, I wholeheartedly invested in some shares of Euro Disney stock. I foolishly thought that everyone across the Atlantic would be eternally grateful to be able to experience American entertainment in their own backyard. Was I ever wrong. How could I have ever thought that a culture that covets long siestas, leisurely meals, and multiple weeks of yearly vacation, be interested in the garish, commercialized, extravaganza that Disney has become. My $2,000 investment has dwindled to a worth of $125. I toyed with selling the shares for a tax loss, but then I decided the stock held a more symbolic purpose. Now, when my quarterly statement arrives, it reminds me that the magic and peace that we all long for in this life are to be found in the simpler moments. While Europeans seem to be able to reject the temptation to succumb to fast paced distraction, as Americans, we must constantly challenge ourselves to slow down and witness the blessings in what may initially be seen as more mundane experiences
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The purpose of life is the evolution of consciousness. This is as true at the individual level of the soul as it is on the universal, cosmic plane. It means that our lives are a constant process of self-realization, emotional and psychological growth and spiritual development. Through experience of life we mature as souls.
- Rabbi Steve Fisdel
I'm the product of a broken home. Granted, I'm now 36 years old and have kids of my own, but the ramifications of my parent's decision some 24 years ago continues to have a profound impact on my life and the lives of my extended family.
If you ask my mother, she'll tell you my parent's break-up was due to infidelity on my father's part. My father is a man of few words and he's not talking. But, whatever their reasons, their decision to break-up a family is still reverberating today. In fact, we are only just beginning to see how the increase in the divorce rate that began a couple of decades ago will impact our parents as they reach retirement age.
My mother has been in a relationship with another divorced man for 22 years. Because they felt they were both burned in their previous marriages, they have refused to commit to each other. During their younger years, this didn't seem to matter much, but it did serve to be detrimental to the melding of their families which now is extremely significant. You see, now, my mother's companion, although physically well and financially sound, has had a severe mental breakdown at the age of 71. But, instead of a large, loving family rallying around him to help him get well, he has a disjointed group of disconnected people fighting about his fate. So, he sits in a rehabilitation facility with addicts half his age while my mother, my sister and I, his biological kids, and his executors look for an answer. Meanwhile, he broods and remains deeply depressed and suicidal. And, what is he depressed about? Oh, some, even he, will tell you it was retiring, or his brother's death, but if you probe deeper it really has a lot to do with creating a dysfunctional family. From his grandson's Bar Mitzvah where my mother was snubbed, to the wedding of my sister where his kids weren't invited, to the difficulties of his own relationship with my mother because commitment has never been achieved, it has been a year of events that exemplify how destroying families keeps on destroying families as the years go by.
As our baby boomer, 50% divorce rate, generation ages who will be their guardians in their later years? Will our society be filled with fighting families spinning their wheels of decision making while their parents wither away in some inappropriate situation? There's probably a business opportunity for someone to act as an intermediary when bickering families are deciding how to handle the debilitating consequences of an aging parent.
Essentially, it is obvious that the generation that decided that marriage and family are expendable will ultimately feel the consequences of their actions when they reach the end of their lives. At a time when they need the most love and support, they may experience the resentment, confusion, and anger that they themselves created in an act many years before.
Recently, the man who had been like a godfather to me passed away. He, too, tore his family apart a number of years ago. He found a new companion and cut-off contact with many people from his past, including me. Yet, at the moment he died, who might you expect was with him? Ironically, it wasn't his wife, but his ex-wife. And, from what I'm told he held her hand and went peacefully to the next plane. You see when we build relationships, make children, and form lives together we are creating bonds that literally last a lifetime When we break apart those promises, make new ones, and break them apart again, we not only hurt those around us, we hurt ourselves as well. Certainly there are situations where the dissolution of a marriage is the only answer, but in many cases it is not. In fact, we seem to look at marriage in the similar way we look at our environment. We live in an expendable society. We use it up, throw it away and get something new as if we are on automatic pilot. We have lost our ability to express loyalty.
I read a book recently called "A Return to Love" by Daphne Rose Kingma. In it, Ms. Kingma espouses that our high divorce rate indicates that marriage just doesn't work anymore. She says that in future generations our committed relationships will look much different than they do currently and that marriage just may become a thing of the past. This view saddens me for I believe that it is within long term relationships that we can learn the most about ourselves. When we spend a lifetime together we share a reference point, create a bond of intimacy, and ultimately grow as individuals. When we enter marriage already contemplating that it won't work out, we do an extreme disservice to ourselves and to the children that we will create within that relationship.
In the end, our materialistic search for utopia will catch up to us. And, our never ending quest for the perfect family will certainly make our later years a roller coaster. If a peaceful transition to the next world is what you're after, keep your family intact. Otherwise, find a good attorney and put your wants and needs in writing so your disjointed family can go on civilly leading their separate lives.
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Imagination is more important than knowledge.
- Albert Einstein
I'm the product of a broken home. Granted, I'm now 36 years old and have kids of my own, but the ramifications of my parent's decision some 24 years ago continues to have a profound impact on my life and the lives of my extended family.
If you ask my mother, she'll tell you my parent's break-up was due to infidelity on my father's part. My father is a man of few words and he's not talking. But, whatever their reasons, their decision to break-up a family is still reverberating today. In fact, we are only just beginning to see how the increase in the divorce rate that began a couple of decades ago will impact our parents as they reach retirement age.
My mother has been in a relationship with another divorced man for 22 years. Because they felt they were both burned in their previous marriages, they have refused to commit to each other. During their younger years, this didn't seem to matter much, but it did serve to be detrimental to the melding of their families which now is extremely significant. You see, now, my mother's companion, although physically well and financially sound, has had a severe mental breakdown at the age of 71. But, instead of a large, loving family rallying around him to help him get well, he has a disjointed group of disconnected people fighting about his fate. So, he sits in a rehabilitation facility with addicts half his age while my mother, my sister and I, his biological kids, and his executors look for an answer. Meanwhile, he broods and remains deeply depressed and suicidal. And, what is he depressed about? Oh, some, even he, will tell you it was retiring, or his brother's death, but if you probe deeper it really has a lot to do with creating a dysfunctional family. From his grandson's Bar Mitzvah where my mother was snubbed, to the wedding of my sister where his kids weren't invited, to the difficulties of his own relationship with my mother because commitment has never been achieved, it has been a year of events that exemplify how destroying families keeps on destroying families as the years go by.
As our baby boomer, 50% divorce rate, generation ages who will be their guardians in their later years? Will our society be filled with fighting families spinning their wheels of decision making while their parents wither away in some inappropriate situation? There's probably a business opportunity for someone to act as an intermediary when bickering families are deciding how to handle the debilitating consequences of an aging parent.
Essentially, it is obvious that the generation that decided that marriage and family are expendable will ultimately feel the consequences of their actions when they reach the end of their lives. At a time when they need the most love and support, they may experience the resentment, confusion, and anger that they themselves created in an act many years before.
Recently, the man who had been like a godfather to me passed away. He, too, tore his family apart a number of years ago. He found a new companion and cut-off contact with many people from his past, including me. Yet, at the moment he died, who might you expect was with him? Ironically, it wasn't his wife, but his ex-wife. And, from what I'm told he held her hand and went peacefully to the next plane. You see when we build relationships, make children, and form lives together we are creating bonds that literally last a lifetime When we break apart those promises, make new ones, and break them apart again, we not only hurt those around us, we hurt ourselves as well. Certainly there are situations where the dissolution of a marriage is the only answer, but in many cases it is not. In fact, we seem to look at marriage in the similar way we look at our environment. We live in an expendable society. We use it up, throw it away and get something new as if we are on automatic pilot. We have lost our ability to express loyalty.
I read a book recently called "A Return to Love" by Daphne Rose Kingma. In it, Ms. Kingma espouses that our high divorce rate indicates that marriage just doesn't work anymore. She says that in future generations our committed relationships will look much different than they do currently and that marriage just may become a thing of the past. This view saddens me for I believe that it is within long term relationships that we can learn the most about ourselves. When we spend a lifetime together we share a reference point, create a bond of intimacy, and ultimately grow as individuals. When we enter marriage already contemplating that it won't work out, we do an extreme disservice to ourselves and to the children that we will create within that relationship.
In the end, our materialistic search for utopia will catch up to us. And, our never ending quest for the perfect family will certainly make our later years a roller coaster. If a peaceful transition to the next world is what you're after, keep your family intact. Otherwise, find a good attorney and put your wants and needs in writing so your disjointed family can go on civilly leading their separate lives.
Home | Classes | Schedule | Exercises | Resources | Books | About Dina April
|
For more info, contact dina@tekiah.com |
Home
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| About Dina April
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Where there is no vision, the people will perish.
- Proverbs
I have a friend who is an incredible gift giver. She always seems to find the most perfect “little something” for every occasion. And, she usually pays a discounted price to boot.
Frankly, I’m a bit jealous of my friend’s gift giving talents because my life has been overtaken by “present frenzy.” No longer do I have the time for leisurely shopping expeditions where I can browse for just the right gift months in advance of a holiday. No, this kind of attention to detail isn’t possible when there are family and friend’s birthdays every month, children's birthday parties, teacher gifts, gifts for the boss, the brownie leader and the baseball coach.
I seem to remember finding the search for that special something a challenging hunt. Now the next holiday is met with an all consuming dread. What do I buy this time?! Can I find it quickly, cheaply and will it be liked? I become sleepless. I become overwhelmed and my checkbook balance plummets.
What about the gift of giving has brought me to the brink? First of all, having an incredibly over scheduled life may be the first culprit. As a working mom, I find mindful shopping a luxury that can be indulged just a few times a year. And, frankly, when an extra half hour does appear in my schedule, exercise, a warm bath or a provocative novel seem more appealing. Second, the expectations surrounding gift giving seem to have increased. When once, a small, but thoughtful trinket was well appreciated, now larger and increased quantities of presents seem to be the norm. At my son’s last birthday party, his friends brought two, even three gifts when one would have sufficed. Finally, and probably most importantly, I think many of us have lost our sense of self. While at one time gift giving may have been all about the receiver, now it says much more about the giver. There seems to be no confidence in the small, kind gesture as it feels like it’s just not good enough. Just recently, a group of us got together to celebrate our friend Alice’s birthday. We met at a coffee house, ate cake, and participated in wonderful conversation. We all pitched in for a gift for our friend. Everyone had such a great time that evening that we decided to form a birthday club and do this kind of get together for each of our birthdays. We decided to eliminate the gift part of the evening and concentrate on just being with each other. Wouldn’t you know it, at the next birthday club coffee, one woman shows up with a gift. Not only did this make the others feel uncomfortable, it was embarrassing for the recipient. The gift-giver said that she couldn’t possibly attend without a gift and has continued to don the birthday honoree with presents every month.
Psychologist, Michelle Navarro, sees many aspects of the over gifting phenomenon in relation to self-esteem. “People quantify how much they are worth by the number and quality of the gifts they give,” she says. She contends that there is a need that requires filling but, for some reason, many individuals don’t feel comfortable giving to themselves so they tend to give gifts in order to receive gifts in return. When one lacks self-esteem, according to Navarro, self-nurture produces guilt necessitating that many people resort to a more manipulative avenue to get their own needs met. In the end, the troubles we are having, as a society with regard to material giving, may be much more about our own internal inadequacies than external expectations.
In a discussion on gift-giving on National Public Radio’s Talk of the Nation, author of “The Overspent American,” Juliet Schor, had this to say, “We invest our commodities with deep meaning throughout the year. When we buy a car today, we’re not buying itmost people don’t buy it merely to get from place to place, they buy it because it says something about themselves, because they have an identification with it, because they have an emotional attachment, etc.”1 But why is it that we are so invested in the material items we purchase for ourselves and for others? Psychologist Navarro admits that many of us are addicted to acquisition. But the difficult part is that our entire society/economy is the pusher. Schor continues, “I think the other issue is that we can’t expect holidays to make up for the problems that we’re experiencing in the rest of the year and that that kind of displacement is really it’s problematic, and that what we need to do also is start thinking about the ways in which our everyday life isn’t working and therefore free ourselves up to sort of experience these holidays in ways which they don’t become so overly invested because of what we’re missing.”2 As the discussion on Talk of the Nation progresses, Schor talks about two ways to handle the contradiction of the holidays. One is to voluntarily simplify the yearly gift giving practice.3 Cliff Wagner, owner of a Florida advertising agency and father of three boys, has come up with a system for his extended family. “For Chanukah, we have a grab bag, and everyone picks a name out of a hat, and one person then gives only one other person a gift. For birthdays, we decided to give the kids gifts only, since that’s half the fun of being a kid and the adults would just get greeting cards to acknowledge the day.” Wagner says that there are exceptions to the rule like special birthdays and anniversaries. Another idea involves charitable giving. “I remember years ago reading about a family that gave their children monetary gifts which could be donated to the “charity” of their choice,” said Judith Bernstein of Flower Mound, Texas. “This way the family became involved together researching and learning about groups and tzedakah (Hebrew word for charity),” she added.
The second idea, according to Schor, is to change the rest of the year and to actually re-create the holidays. We can begin to choose to live life in a more leisurely way, we can spend more time with our families, look less to material solutions to problems and we concentrate on “doing things” rather than “buying things.”4 My own family plans to spend a day of Chanukah at a soup kitchen this year ( and we will forego gifts to each other that night). Taking someone to their favorite restaurant, going on a group hike or camping trip, or planning a canoe float can all be ways of honoring someone that doesn’t involve a gift exchange. Paula Shopiro, a lawyer and mother of two, came upon a gift that entices the receiver to “do” something. “A friend once gave me a jar filled with the dry ingredients for chocolate chip cookies. The top of the jar was covered with a pretty cloth and a recipe was attached. Our family made the cookies together and really enjoyed the treat. Now I give this gift to others,” she said.
In his book, “A World of Their Own MakingMyth, Ritual and the Quest for Family Values,” John Gills reveals that constant gift giving got its start in the 20th century. Previously, f